the very first picture on this blog is of course a picture with my grandma. it's only fitting because i miss her and think of her a lot. i like this picture because it's a candid and silly picture of her. i like how i can see the crow's feet around her eyes because it means she was genuinely happy. now that she's gone, i try to remember the genuinely happy moments i shared with her . i don't remember much of her because that person had gone far before she lay on that deathbed. the memories i do think of are the ones when i was a child and slept over on the weekends. she used to save bubble wrap for me because i had a blast popping those suckers. she also used to buy cream bao for me and taught me that maan tao is a great substitution for toast, as it can be eaten with butter! during family gatherings, she used to sit in the kitchen while everyone else was in the dining room. i asked her why and she said it was because she didn't want to be a burden. i didn't understand that because she had spent the entire day preparing the meal. she was like that, she never wanted to burden anyone. in fact, that was the one thing that annoyed me most about her. she would nag endlessly if you did something nice for her. i will miss her with all of my heart. she was so lovely and modest. i honestly wish i could be more like her.